I’ve done nothing in the past two days but read Gabriel’s Inferno by Sylvain Reynard (a.ka. anonymous Canadian author) and eat.
So lets’ break it down. Gabriel’s Inferno, was inspired by Twilight fanfiction…yeah remember that one Twilight, the one about the vampire and mortal which we don’t like to admit we read but I know you did. The book revolve arounds Mr. Professor Gabriel Emerson a.k.a Obnoxious Pretentious Ass (OPA) until of course he wakes up one day and realizes he is in love with Julianne Mitchell, his student and also his sister’s best friend who he had met six years earlier but didn’t immediately recognize. At which point OPA turns into Sexy and Loving Prince Charming (SLPC). Before we get there though, Reynard introduces us to the alluring world of Dante Alighieri, a 14th century Italian poet who wrote the literary masterpiece, The Divine Comedy. The title of the book is a play off of Dante’s Inferno (the first part of The Divine Comedy). Unlike Twilight, Fifty Shades of Grey (E.L. James), or the Crossfire Novels (Sylvia Day), I was quite intrigued and impressed by the history and literary references in the book. Reynard includes quite a bit of fascinating details about Dante, his poetry, and his beloved Beatrice. The sex scenes are definitely the least explicit compared to James and Day’s work. But there’s something very appealing about that innocence. Although some of the lovey dovey stuff does make me want to gag sometimes…but then again why do we read such things? To kill our brain cells?
Nope. We just rather live in fantasy than in reality. But then again how can these reading experiences not inform some of our expectations about love and relationships? Ay, there’s the rub my friends… As a woman, let’s be real, every girl wants an SLPC, actually let me clarify that, every girl wants an OPA that she turns into a Sexy and Loving Prince Charming. BUT will we ever meet our Professor Gabriel Emerson, 33 year-old sex god, incredibly brilliant and sexy who can quote Italian poetry from memory? Or how about our Christian Grey, 28 year-old billionaire sex god dominant alpha male who owns half the world or Gideon Cross, (I think he’s 28 too?) another billionaire sex god, incredibly dark and dangerous but so sensitive (you get my drift)?? Will we? Nah, because they don’t exist. Or do they???
If they do, I call on all the ladies out there to share their experiences with us! Please please tell me because I want to know. God knows I haven’t met my SLPC, or anything close to that. Blah.
Anyway, I digress… back to Gabriel and Julianne. Of course like all these books, the girl is always the meeker and weaker of the two protagonists (although she does get stronger as the books progresses) who never eats (except Eva Tramell from the Crossfire Series, she kind of eats, I like that). But now I digress again. I have to say I find it very interesting that Gabriel Emerson, Christian Grey, and Gideon Cross were all born out of Twilight fanfiction, a.ka. incredibly hot and breathtakingly beautiful vampire Edward Cullen. But Twilight is the only book that ISN’T about sex, nay its exclusively about love (well sort of…frankly I find their relationship a bit scarily co-dependent and emotionally abusive but who am I to talk, its not like I have a ridiculously beautiful vampire in my bed). But somehow all of the Twilight spin-offs have become about sex, a road paved by E.L. James. I mean don’t get me wrong some of those scenes in Fifty Shades are unbelievably HOTHOTHOT and would make any girl think seriously about getting into BDSM. BUT again are we creating a demand for something that doesn’t exist??
OBVIOUSLY this doesn’t mean I won’t stop reading these books… Oh gosh, no no, no I need these distractions to keep me from actually living in reality, I mean that place sucks, duh. Actually gotta wrap it up to get back to reading Gabriel’s Rapture (Part 2 of the series).